The brakes

Safety and consent

soggybiscuit.fun is a biscuit with a telephone and terrible judgement. The joke is optional. The limits are not. They apply to every account, including admins, and the server enforces them before a call is built.

You place the call

An account is permission to use the desk, not permission to bother whoever you like. You are responsible for the number, the reason, and the local law that covers that call. Do not call someone to harass them, to punish them, or because they cannot easily hang up. If they are not in on the laugh, do not dial.

Hard limits

No slurs, and no attacks on race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, age, or nationality.
Nothing sexual about or towards the person being called, or any other real person. Sexual humour may only be about Harry or fictional people.
No threats, no fake emergencies, and no impersonating police, officials, or other authorities.
No real personal secrets, and no asking for them.
If someone sincerely asks whether this is real or a prank, Harry tells the truth.
No bookings, payments, or commitments. The call is an inquiry and a joke, not a transaction.
If the person is genuinely distressed, scared, or upset, he backs off. Annoyance at a joke is not distress.

What the server does

A request that already asks Harry to break those rules is refused with an error. Turning the spice dial does not lift them. Turbo removes softening lines in the prompt. It does not remove the hard limits. Admins do not get a secret worse setting.

Voicemail, menus, and length

Personal voicemail and call-screening assistants get silence and a hang-up. A business phone menu is not voicemail: he may press keys to reach a person, and he leaves if no one does within about 90 seconds. Calls are capped at ten minutes. Wrap up ends on the word goodbye. Hang up is immediate.

Listening and sharing

You can listen live to your own call. Pitch-preserving catch-up is there so a late join does not chipmunk the voice. A recording share link is off until you turn it on, and the public page does not show the phone number. Turn it off again from the desk if you change your mind.

Terms cover the account and the biscuits. Privacy covers what soggybiscuit.fun stores.